My Millie (Purebred Vizsla)

My dog Millie was a great friend but our relationship was a difficult challenge for me and for her. She was timid to an extreme and we got her over it. She was afraid of just about everything and our careful efforts, over years, helped her get over that.
     
Sometimes when I tell someone “Millie was very timid and afraid”, they might say “Oh, yes, I had a dog like that.” I've had some that were timid and shy but not like Millie. I never saw a dog so afraid of things. During storms, or because of sudden sounds or quick movement, her teeth could chatter and she would shake real bad and I would hold her in my arms until she calmed down. I am sure someone had such a dog but that much fear is rare.
     
Professionals told me Millie should be put down because she was, in fact, suffering and she had mental problems.
     
That was the day I committed myself to her well-being and devoted the next eleven years to that end.
     
Millie became well adjusted after years of our efforts and we really had fun together. She learned to use her instincts and hunt like a pro. She learned after several years to relax at home and she would lie at my feet if I was home, sleep in my chair when I was at work and sleep under the covers with me at night. She was never more than a few feet from me, except when I was at work. She wanted to go with me everywhere.  And she did except to work, and sometimes in summer when it was too hot to stay in the truck.
     
Throughout this story I use the term “abuse”. Accidental abuse often occurs when a lack of ability or willingness to accept timidity or the attitude of the dog leads to misuse. Some of what happened to Millie was not intentional abuse or malicious but she was so timid that she suffered from accidental abuse. I think because she was timid and afraid she was abused by the trainer. Hunting dogs are not supposed to be shy. She was scared in her environment and was forced to live in it for 15 months. She was diagnosed as having mental problems.
     
This is Millie’s story as best I can tell it.

A troubled dog with a beautiful mind

I got Millie from a Vizsla breeder in November of 1992. I had considered buying a Vizsla from him for several months. His asking price was $400. He called one evening and said he had a Vizsla he would sell me for $200.
     
I asked him “Why so cheap?”
     
He said “She won’t hunt.”
     
“Why not?” I asked.
     
“I used a shock collar on her to stop her chasing birds and she quit hunting. She just wants to stay at the truck.”
     
I gave him the $200 and was happy to get Millie away from the abuse she was subjected to. I thought her abuse was just the use of the shock collar. I would later learn that what I knew about was just a sample of what she endured.
     
I would learn during the next few months and even years just how scared she was and why she was so afraid. It would take 2 years of very careful training to return her to reasonable normality. She was terrified.
     
A veterinarian and a dog trainer both told me the humane thing to do would be put her down. That she was hurting form her fears. I reckon it made me more determined to help her. I could not throw a life away just because she was scared. I was sorry for her and I hurt for her.
     
She was born August 15, 1991 at a kennel owned by a person who is a breeder and claimed to be a trainer. Maybe he is a trainer if the dog already knows what to do and has natural ability. Maybe he is not so good with a dog less perfect. Millie was a very timid dog motivated by fear. The self described "trainer" must have had no tolerance or ability for timid or shy dogs.

Millie’s Abuse

By the time Millie was 15 months old she had been kenneled with a pack of more aggressive older dogs that made life miserable for her. She had been subjected to use of electric collars until she was afraid of anything related to hunting, guns, grass, people, dogs, vehicles and anything else related to hunting trips. She was scared to death of noises of any kind and thunder storms terrified her, as did airplanes going over and cars going by. She was even scared to death of static electricity (probably because of the use of shock collars). And because of her uncontrolled time spent with other dogs she was deprived her childhood having a litter of puppies before she was 15 months.
     
I reckon the breeder used a flash light to teach her to point (a natural instinct), so she spent the rest of her life concerned with sunlight moving across a floor or moving shadows anywhere. Millie was so afraid of people when I bought her that she would show fear at any movement of a hand or foot, a raised voice or any sudden noise, even if not loud. It took a long time for her to accept me as a friend and different than a stranger. I always thought she was asking for help. I could see it in her eyes.
     
I learned from another person with knowledge of the breeder that her abuse was worse than I knew. Some of the things he said he did to stop her being timid was just ignorant and contrary to what should have been done with any already scared dog.
     
My Love Grows for Millie

As for me, I have always had deeper emotions for animals, especially dogs and horses, than people and perhaps my attraction to them is not normal. I always felt sorry for some dogs because, so often, they are just not appreciated for their unconditional love and loyalty. If a dog is mistreated he will almost certainly return love to the perpetrator. The dog is a much better friend to us than we are to them.
     
On this page, I’ll try to tell the story of Millie’s life and her long journey from hell to heaven.
     
It was not about her abuse. It was her recovery. It was sad and beautiful at the same time. I loved Millie a lot and became dedicated to relieving her from fear. Her fears were so so much greater than I had seen before. It was the fear she lived with every day that made me so caring of her. You could see it in her in her face.
     
After I brought Millie home I began to see her fears were not just a normal timid and shy dog but they were far deeper than that. The veterinarian was right. She was hurting. I could see it in her eyes and her expressions and the way she was still afraid of me even after all the love and kindness I offered her. I knew I would have to be careful to not make her worse. I knew there was more to her fears than had been told me.
     
The first year we started working on her hunting abilities which should be instinctive in her breed. Those instincts were present but she couldn’t hunt because she remembered the shock collar.
     
Millie’s Healing Begins

On a leash we started hunting. She remembered the shocks and wouldn’t go in front of me. She stayed so close behind me that my heels bumped her nose often. We tried this day after day for the remainder of the ’92 hunting season. We made little progress.
     
At home it was only slightly better. She was just too scared, of literally everything, to trust me with her well being. She had regular feedings with no competition from other dogs and she slept with me in my bed.
     
Eventually Millie would begin to relax with me but she needed to be very near me all the time. She lay beside my chair or at, or under, my feet. At night she slept under the covers with me and was always touching me. As I moved through the house from morning to night she followed me everywhere. I had to be careful not to step on her and I learned to look before every step.
     
During stormy nights I rarely slept. I would sit with Millie on my lap with her head under my arm. Her teeth would chatter and she would shake, violently at first, then less as time went by. It took years but she got better.
      The ’93 Hunting season came and Millie tried to hunt more because she had an instinct to do so. However, she would not go in front of me even though she wanted to. She stayed within about ten feet of me.

Millie Begins to Feel Safer in 1994

At home I think Millie did relax and she became better as time passed. It had been over a year now that she had been with me. She remained the same in her efforts to be near me. When we traveled, she would sit beside me on the seat, always sitting, not just close, but against my side.
     
I guess Millie’s fears just made me to love her more. I had to make her feel better. I worked so close and careful with her and my love for her grew and I felt sorry for her because of her torment. Millie’s abuse affected her in ways I've not seen in a dog.
     
I am sure there are many stories, even worse, but I was privy to this one. She depended on me completely. I believe I, and her buddy Tami, were comforting to her.
     
During this difficult time I never neglected Tami. She was never afraid, it seemed, but she was very cute and an expert at heart stealing. Tami is a story all her own and is told on another page. And her life was started in a far better environment.
     
Millie Starts Hunting

It took two years for Millie to begin to hunt in a normal way. She became a great bird dog pointing perfectly and retrieving flawlessly. She would hunt in front of me for the first time and always within about 20-30 yards from me. I never had to give her instructions and her instincts were perfect for a bird hunting dog.
     
She hunted Quail, Pheasant, Ducks and Geese and performed her duties with joy and pride. All she wanted after some special point or retrieve was a petting reward. On Goose hunts I could always depend on her warm body sitting next to me waiting for geese to show. Tami was always wandering around. I never cared if geese came. It was just good to be there. Even the drives to from hunting areas were fun.
     

Millie’s Travel Miles

My work involved lots of travel and both Mille and Tami loved to travel and did so cheerfully. They tried to remain sitting up to see out the windows but after a while they would give up and go to sleep. We traveled a lot and hunted far and wide in winter and traveled and just had fun during summer months. A career change in 1998 stopped the travel and we moved to the country. After their retirement we pretty much just stayed at the house. Being in the country, it was private and it was comfortable. They enjoyed it.
     

Near Heartbreak

Only one time during her life with me was there a near disaster in her life. We were visiting friends in another town and staying at their house.
     
My last night there Millie found a hole in the fence behind their house and went out through it. She must have been in a mood to wander. I could not find her. I drove and walked all over for hours with no luck. About 2 AM I was telling myself that I was not going to find her.
     
At 4 AM, unable to sleep, I started driving around again. I drove by a fire station with a grass lawn and I thought I saw a dark spot in the grass. I backed up, looked at the spot decided it was grass and started to drive away. I thought I saw the spot move. I stopped again, got out and walked toward the spot and Millie got up and came toward me.
     
A sad heart was uplifted and a scared dog was saved that night and I promised Millie I would never let her out of my sight again. And I did not, except to go to work.
     

At Home with Millie

At home Millie never got over the need to be near me and that was fine. After all the careful training away of her fears, I loved her. She was just so special and I seemed to be motivated by efforts to make her life good. I loved my other animals too but Millie’s awful first 15 months and the 2 year effort to help her be normal just got her into my heart like no other animal before. I believe feeling sorry for her made that happen but she was the kindest hearted animal I have ever been blessed with. Seeing fear on her face always made me hurt.
     

Millie’s Retirement

From 1994 to 2001 I hunted with Millie and her buddy Tami. Then they went into retirement having fulfilled bird hunting careers. Both Millie and Tami lived in my house with a little door they could use to go outside any time they wanted. The yard was fenced so they were safe there. Millie slept in my chair during the day while I worked, lay at my feet when I was home sitting in it and slept under my covers at night, always touching me.
     
In 2002 I bought a new pickup truck. While shopping for it I test drove one with the salesman. The pickup did not have a seat in the middle and I told the salesman that would not work.
     
“Why?” he asked.
    
“Because Millie sits beside me” I replied.
     
“Is it really necessary? She could sit in the back seat.”
     
“Oh, it’s necessary. I would only buy this truck if you put a seat in the middle.”
     
Well, I didn’t buy the truck though I might have paid less. See, Millie had ridden beside me for 10 years and she was part of the family.
     

Millie’s Resting Now in God’s Care

Millie died on 9/16/2004 after just over one day sick. Her liver quit. I have never felt such loss although, in canine years, it was her time. She lived 13 years. Eleven of those were good years and she lived and died in the care of one who loved her very much. I have no doubt that Millie is in heaven for I know that God loves dogs and other animals just as He does us. I don’t doubt that I will see her again when it is my time. I know she can see us, the family she left here, from her green fields in Heaven. I thank God that He shed His grace on me by allowing me to know the sweetest, most loving dog ever and giving me the strength to help her have a better life.
     
Wild West’s Millie G, I love you.
Rest in Peace, Baby.
     
Millie is buried out back in the corral. The horses will not allow anything to harm her grave. It will be a good resting place for beautiful Millie, a great friend.